


I'm gonna love me again

by writingformadderton



Series: Rocketman-Based on our fantasy [21]
Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Weight Issues, argument, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: When Richard gets home late one evening he looks forward to just kiss Taron and cuddle with him. But T seems distant and avoids all of his touches blaming it on “not being in the mood today”. Rich believes him for once but as the days passes it gets worse. One day Richard picks him up from set and doesn’t get an “hello” anymore, which leads to an argument that finally explains what is going on in Tarons head.
Relationships: Taron Egerton/Richard Madden
Series: Rocketman-Based on our fantasy [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530287
Kudos: 22





	I'm gonna love me again

Finally home, Rich thinks to himself as he walks up the stone path through their garden. It’s already dark and he is exhausted from a long day of shooting. He looks up and sees the bedroom light is turned on. At least Taron is already home. He searches for his keys and finds them, unlocking and walking into his home. Richard closes the door and slides off his shoes. “I’m home!” He shouts and stretches, hearing his back crack. 

Taron appears at the top of the stairs and walks down fast. “Hey lovely. How are you?” He asks and jumps down from the last step, pulling him into a warm hug.

Richard grunts and laughs. “Tired.” He says and kisses Taron on his lips and takes his hand. Taron walks them upstairs. Richard goes into their bathroom and washes his hand, splashing some cold water on his face to wake up a little. His eyes fall on Taron, who is sitting on their bed. “Have you seen my favorite hoodie?” He asks in a warning tone and rolls his eyes playfully. That was very typical of Taron. 

“No?” Taron responds with a small smirk and laughs quietly. He looks at Rich and puts his hood over his head. 

Rich turns the water off and dries his hands on the towel. “You little liar!” He laughs out and turns the bathroom light out. He looks at Taron who is wearing his dark blue jumper. “It suits you better than me anyways.” He admits and braces himself on his hands next to Taron’s sides. Taron giggles and looks at him smiling wide.   
Richard leans in for a kiss and Taron closes the gap. He pushes T to lie down and crawls on top of him. The kiss turns rough and needy. Taron moans when Richard pulls at the hem of his hoodie. Rich’s hands wander underneath it and he can feel Taron’s soft skin beneath his hands. He slowly starts fondling over Taron’s torso and Taron flinches. T moves Richard’s hands away from his body quickly. Richard stops immediately and looks at him concerned. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He asks. 

Taron shakes his head and sits up. “I’m sorry. I’m just not in the mood.” He lets out and doesn’t look at Richard. 

Rich sits down next to him and looks puzzled. It was not like Taron to kiss him that passionately and not be in the mood for making out. “Okay then.” He says and stands up to change into comfy clothes. 

“I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?” Taron asks warily and lays down on the bed, putting the hood over his head again. 

“No?” Richard answers and opens his closet. “It’s your right to stop me from kissing you to death.” Taron laughs and shakes his head. Rich puts in some sweatpants and a grey jumper that he steals from Taron’s closet. He sits down again next to Taron and puts his arm around him.

Taron suddenly stands up and looks down at him, searching for words. “You wanna get something to eat?” He asks and is already turned around to walk out of the room. 

“No thanks.” Richard answers and watches him closely. It’s beyond strange seeing Taron avoiding his touch and certain kisses. What was wrong?

“Are you sure? You’ve had a long day.” Taron speaks and looks at him confused.

“Yea I’m sure.” Rich trails off and frowns. “Can we talk?” He sits up and pats the spot next to him. 

“Sure about what?” Taron replies quickly and slowly walks over, sitting down but keeping a small but noticeable space between them. 

“What’s wrong?” Richard asks straight out and looks at Taron and waits for a straight answer. 

“Nothing. I’m just a bit tired.” Taron lies with a straight face, but not daring to look at Richard. 

“Okay.” Richard says simply, but knows Taron is lying. He starts biting his lip softly and thinks. Did he say something that hurt Taron? Did he forget a date? He turns to Taron and “accidentally” touches his arms. Taron changes his position quickly almost immediately. “Do you want me to sleep on the sofa today?” Richard sighs and stands up. 

“What? Why would I want that?” Taron raises his head and meets his gaze, utterly confused. 

“Because you are avoiding all of my touches.” Richard states and grabs his pillow. “If you don’t tell me what it is, then I can’t help you fix it.” 

“Rich it’s not you!” I-I just had a hard day and I think I need some space.” Taron says with an annoyed undertone. 

“Mhm.” Rich nods and walks out.

“What are you doing?!” Taron stands up quickly and walks after him. 

“Giving you the space you need.” Rich says calmly and walks downstairs. 

Taron speeds down the stairs and plants himself in front of Richard. “Don’t be silly!” He says and takes the pillow from Richard’s hand, walking back upstairs. Richard stands still for a moment and sighs shaking his head, not believing what is going on. “You coming? It’ll be cold down there on the sofa on your own.” Taron shouts teasingly. Richard rubs his face and walks upstairs to their bedroom. Taron lies on the bed, snuggled up in the blanket still wearing his jumper. Richard turns off the lights and lies down. After a couple minutes, Taron cuddles into him. “Please don’t be mad at me.” He says softly.

“I’m not mad Taron. I just wanna figure out what’s going on in your head.” Richard whispers the last part and carefully lies his arm around Taron’s shoulder and lets his head rest on his chest. 

“I just need some time, okay?” Taron whispers and Richard nods. They both fall fast asleep, although the feeling between them was still odd.

It has been two weeks since that night and it’s happened more as time went on. Richard gets out of his car and walks over to the set. He sees his boyfriend talking to Dexter and Jamie. When he gets closer, Taron looks at him confused. “What are you doing here?” He asks sounding slightly annoyed and Richard notices it, but ignore it. 

“Well I had time today. I thought I would come pick you up from work.” Richard states and smiles, leaning in for a kiss.

But Taron nods and turns his head quickly. “I’m gonna get my stuff then. See you guys later.” He says and walks away. 

Richard looks a bit confused, but plays it off. “Alright, I’ll just wait here then.” He comments. No hello kiss. What’s going through Taron’s head? They walk to the car together in silence. Richard can feel that something is wrong and is wracking his brain trying to figure it out. He unlocks the car and tries his luck again, leaning in for a kiss towards Taron. But Taron avoids it and opens the door and puts his bag in the back seat, sliding quickly into the passenger seat. Richard sighs frustrated and feels himself getting angry. He slides into the car and drives off. After a few minutes of silence, Richard glances at Taron before focusing back on the road. “Hello to you too babe. Always lovely to be treated like a random person in front of our friends.” He says sarcastically. 

Taron stares at the road, keeping silent for a moment. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or do I have to figure it out on my own?” Richard says trying to keep calm, but Taron doesn’t answer. He scoffs and shakes his head, feeling his blood boil. “Wow, nice talk.” He sighs and parks the car. He gets out and shuts his door rather loudly. He keeps the car keys in so Taron can shut the machine down when he was ready. Richard knows that if he doesn’t create a space between him and Taron now, he’ll explode. Richard gets inside and kicks off his shoes, heading upstairs. He ignores the food on the kitchen table he had prepared. If Taron was gonna be in a mood then he can forget the evening Rich planned for them. He hears the door close downstairs and Taron calling after him. He stops midway up the stairs and turns around. “What?!” He responds annoyed, raising his voice. 

“I’m sorry Rich.” Taron says and looks up at him. “I didn’t want to let you stand there like an idiot.”

“Listen, you told me you didn’t want me to touch you because you weren’t in the mood. It happens and I respect it and you. But for two weeks straight…” Rich trails off and sighs slowly walking down the stairs. “You don’t hold my hand anymore. You can’t even look at me. And now I’m not allowed to kiss you anymore?” Richard goes on and Taron sees the hurt in his eyes. “I don’t even get a hello anymore. I’m your boyfriend Taron and that fucking hurts!”

Taron stares at the floor, unable to look his boyfriend in the eye, who’s standing in front of him now. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.” He barely whispers. 

Richard throws his hands in the air helplessly. “Tell me what I did that pushed you away from me. Because something is wrong and I wanna understand it.” Rich pleads a little and lifts Taron’s chin up and looks into his eyes that are brimmed with tears. Taron is shivering but still pulls his eyes away from Rich. “What’s wrong my love? Please talk to me.” Richard says gently, his voice softening seeing the tears. 

Taron begins to sob and shakes his head. “It’s stupid.” He forces out with a shaky voice.

Richard carefully cups his face in his hands and tries to catch his gaze. “If it upsets you, then it’s not stupid.” He assures him. 

“I just don’t want you to touch me because I am insecure about myself. I am absolutely not in shape and they’ve done horrible things to my hair. I look awful and I-“ his voice cracks and his breathing is uneven as more tears stream down his face. “And I have this stunning boyfriend next to me that could have anyone he wanted.”

Richard is shocked and left speechless for a moment. “Taron, it’s just a role. We all go through changes for it. You are beautiful no matter if it’s like this, in shape or in the morning when you’re nearly falling asleep at the table again.” He assures with a small smile and strokes his cheeks softly and places a gentle kiss on Taron’s forehead. “I don’t want anybody else because I already have the best gift right before me!” Taron smiles sadly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Taron shrugs and finally looks into the deep blue eyes. “Because it’s dumb.” He whispers. 

Richard pulls him into a hug and this time Taron lets him. “I’m your boyfriend and I’m here to support you okay? It doesn’t matter what it is that’s on your mind.” He whispers back. Taron hugs him tighter and they stand there for a while. “You wanna eat something?” Taron nods and looks up at him. Richard gently kisses his tears away and rubs his back. They walk into the kitchen where their food plates still waits for them. Taron takes their plates and heats them up, while Richard sits at the table. They sit down and eat in a comfortable silence. After eating, Richard cleans up their plates and takes them to the sink, wiping them off to put them in the dishwasher.

Taron follows him and lays his head on his shoulder. “Rich you don’t have to do this. It’s your day off.” He says softly.

Richard chuckles and puts their plates in the dishwasher. “Anything for my beautiful boyfriend.” He says and smiles. He walks to go back to his seat but Taron grabs his hand, stopping him. He turns him around and kisses him passionately. Richard grabs Taron and pulls him closer. “Do you even know how addicted I am to your kisses?” He smirks. He slowly lets his hands wander underneath Taron’s shirt and strokes over his belly up to his chest. Taron melts into his touch, no longer fearing it. He starts to kiss Taron’s neck and walks him to the table.

“God, I missed this.” Taron breathes out and presses Richard closer. Richard chuckles and kisses Taron on the lips. He lifts him up and sits him on the table. Taron wraps his legs his legs around him and smashes his lips onto his boyfriend’s. 

Richard slowly pulls Taron’s shirt up and starts kissing down his torso. “I. Love. Every. Fucking. Gorgeous. Inch. Of. You.” He says in between kisses and Taron just giggles. Taron pulls him up and pulls his shirt back down. He hops down from the table and hugs Richard tightly. “I will never stop loving you because of a body changing role, you hear me?” Richard says in a serious tone. 

Taron sighs and buries his face in Richard’s shoulder. “I should have told you. I’m sorry.” He whispers. 

“You’re perfect Taron. Don’t forget that.” Richard kisses his temple and looks at his wonderful boyfriend in his arms. He can’t believe Taron would think of himself in such a way. 

“I love you!” Taron says proudly and smiles and kisses him softly.


End file.
